Bridge Church Vancouver

1 Peter 3:8-12 SERMON

Introduction

Not so long ago, I used to own a sports car.  It was an Acura Integra, three door hatchback.  In fact it was the first car that I had ever bought with my own money.  I wouldn't say I was obsessed with the car, but let's just say that back then I was probably one of Canadian Tire's favorite customers.  I used to wash and wax it every other week ensuring that the car stayed clean.  I treated the engine with the best type of oil you could find.  I put the best tires I could afford on the car.  It had standard transmission of course - another first for me, and so I would practice shifting as fast as I could in an effort to impress my friends.  Not only was it a good sports car, I felt good driving that car!  It was my pride and joy.

Then one day, I was at a board meeting at my previous church.  I had driven the Integra there.  While I was at the meeting, a group of youths (not from our church) decided they had nothing better to do with their time than to go around keying all the cars in our parking lot.  So I learned a great lesson in humility that day - my beautiful Integra was scratched all around; virtually no door panel was left untouched.  It was dark when the meeting ended so I wouldn't discover this until the next day, but when I did, something very interesting happened. 

It would have been very natural for me to react angrily: after all it was my car that was vandalized, it was me that had to pay the deductible and it was my "rights" that felt violated.  But that is not how I chose to react.  In the moment of discovery, I felt instead an overwhelming sense of compassion.  I had an overwhelming sense of compassion for the youths that vandalized my car because I felt sorry that they were youths that were wondering around aimlessly without purpose.  I had an urge not only to forgive them at that moment, but to want to minister to them if God would allow me.

I wouldn't say that this reaction was entirely unnatural, but it was certainly not expected.  Looking back, I was actually surprised I didn't react more angrily.

You could say perhaps that it was supernatural in the sense that I felt God's Spirit move me to be compassionate.  Because God gave me the grace to be compassionate, I was able to choose to forgive and choose to repay evil with blessing.

Think now to your own life.  How do you react when the circumstances of life get you down?  How do you react when evil or insult comes your way?  See if you recognize yourself in any of these circumstances:

1. Your boss had a bad day and decides to take it out on you.  An otherwise uneventful day turns into stressful pressure-filled day where every aspect of your job feels like it is under the microscope.

2. You are out in a public place.  Your child or children decide that they are tired of being obedient and decide to  misbehave.  You try frantically to control the situation when suddenly a stranger, instead of lending you a helping hand decides to pass on some unsolicited advice on how to parent your kids.

3.  You get into an argument with your spouse.  Insults are hurled in rapid machine-gun fashion and the two of you dig into your respective trenches prepared for long term warfare.

Chances are you will have recognized part of yourself in at least one of the above situations.  I am not excluded.  In fact, all of the above situations come from examples in my own life.

It is natural for us to retaliate when insult falls our way because that is how our incarnate, "citizen of this world" self is accustomed to react.  But we are not citizens of this world any longer.  Remember we have been made new by a new birth through Christ - and as a result, we have new "DNA" - we have been set apart by the Holy Spirit.  This new birth has enabled God to do something with us he could not do previously - that is to sanctify or renew us by His Spirit.  In lay men's terms, he is in the process of transforming what we would previously consider unnatural or supernatural to what is natural.  We are able to do as Christ would because God has chosen us to be set apart.

We have been studying 1 Peter over the past few months and we have been talking a lot about living a hope filled life.  Well today, we are going to focus on the virtues of a hope filled life - in particular how our hope should affect the way we interact with others.  Please allow me to pray first.

<prayer>

Peter writes in 1 Peter 3:8-12:

Finally, all of you live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and [be] humble.  Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, (and he quotes Psalm 34)

       "Whoever would love life
      and see good days
   must keep his tongue from evil
      and his lips from deceitful speech.
  He must turn from evil and do good;
      he must seek peace and pursue it.
  For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
      and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
   but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."

Peter describes two styles of interaction:  the first is an insult for insult relationship.  This is the type of relationship that comes naturally to us.  It reflects a spirit of retaliation.  It is rooted in an unforgiving heart and a need to take control.  It focuses on my rights, or my feelings over others.  Insult for insult is generally reactionary.  It is often our gut reaction when something gets hurled our way.

When we react to insults using insults, we almost always resort to extremes.  One extreme is to withdraw or clam up under attack choosing to internalize the insults and retaliate by giving the other the silent treatment.  Bitterness ensues and we hurl insults back at the other person by way of darts in our eyes or cold stares.

Another extreme is to hurt.  We retaliate by verbally or physically bashing the other person.

Examples of this type of relationship are plenty:

• One just has to watch some playoff hockey to know that in the heat of emotion, insults can be traded so easily. You may remember a certain former Vancouver Canuck returned an insult from a Colorado player by punching him in the face from behind incapacitating him and ruining his career.

• You may have an insult for insult relationship at home in your marriage today. How did you react the last time your spouse accused you of doing something you didn't do?

• How about at work? How do you react when your boss insults you? Why is it that the sitcom "The Office" is one of the highest rated shows in America? Although we may never insult our boss back to his/her face, we often fantasize about doing so or even insult them behind their back.

The consequences of this style of interaction are also plenty.  Although the immediate consequence may be one of delight (or getting "even") the long term consequences are not so pretty.  In fact part of why I think the divorce rate in North America these days is so high is because we do not understand the full consequences of such a relationship.  When we insult our spouse and retaliate with insults, we not only hurt the ones we love the most, we also pass down to our children this very same pattern.  What is natural for us becomes natural for the next generation, and a vicious cycle begins to develop.

Though the insult for insult relationship may come naturally for us, it is only natural insomuch as it is the way that most of the people in the world react in the same situation.  But it should not be the natural way Christians react.  We, after all, have been elected from every nation by God to be set apart for Him.  We have a new birth, and we have a living hope.  Peter encourages us to live such good lives among the pagans that though they accuse us of doing wrong, they will glorify God in heaven when Christ returns.  Peter encourages us to act differently.

Enter in the second style of interaction:  the blessing for insult relationship. 

The Blessing for Insult relationship

When insults come our way as Christians, our supernatural tendency should be to follow what the Holy Spirit tells us to do.  And judging from what Peter has said in this passage thus far, it is pretty obvious that when insults come our way, the Holy Spirit commands us to ask God to bless those who insult us.  The apostle Paul, perhaps the most famous "insulter" of Christians prior to his conversion also said this in Romans 12:14 and 12:21:  Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  Jesus also said it in Matthew in the Sermon on the mount.

"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.  -- Matthew 5:11-12

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, -- Matthew 5:43-44

And when we ask God to bless those who insult us, the corollary is that we ourselves are to bless them.  If we are to be the hands and feet of Christ; if we are to claim to be Spirit filled citizens of heaven, we are also to bless those who insult us.

The blessing for insult relationship reflects a spirit of kindness.  It is in stark contrast to the insult for insult relationship we saw earlier.  It is rooted in a forgiving and a gracious heart.  It focuses on the priority of the relationship rather than self-preservation and wishes what is best for the other instead of what is best for us.  Blessing for insult breaks the vicious cycle of insult by responding out of love.  It is not a reaction but rather a choice to refrain and to refresh.

When we choose to forgive, refrain and refresh the relationship, we are showing what Christ would have done for them.  1 Peter 2:23 says:  When they hurled their insults at him, he [meaning Jesus] did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him [meaning God the Father] who judges justly.

Here are some practical examples of how we can apply this in our everyday life:

In relation to our spouses:

• Choosing to not retaliate when our spouse hurts us verbally.
• Choosing to minister instead of manipulate
• Choosing to build up our spouse instead of take down our spouse.

In relation to our children:

• Choosing to demonstrate to them our willingness to restrain and bridle our tongue both to them and with our spouses
• Choosing to parent with grace.
• Choosing to demonstrate forgiveness.

In relation to our parents:

• Choosing to demonstrate humility and grace even when we feel we aren't being treated fairly.

In relation to our employers:

• Choosing to pray for those who may treat us badly

Practically speaking there are some real benefits to doing this.  Think of the character legacy you are leaving your children and think of how much better our children will relate to us and others if we demonstrate forgiveness, restraint and encouragement to our spouses.  Think also of how our children will learn humility when we choose to demonstrate forgiveness toward them.  Think of how others may see how you respond to your parents and in turn wish they too had the same type of strength.  Think of how we can be of witness to others when we choose to bless our employers who treat us badly.

The benefits of a blessing for insult relationship are very real but they even go beyond the practical.  Peter quotes Psalm 34, a psalm of David, who understood the power of letting God take control.  He writes:

"Whoever would love life
      and see good days
   must keep his tongue from evil
      and his lips from deceitful speech.
  He must turn from evil and do good;
      he must seek peace and pursue it.
  For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
      and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
   but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."

In other words, when we choose to bless for insult, we are choosing to experience a growing peace with God and in our home.  We will experience God's blessing because we chose to do things His way.  We will also experience unhindered access to God in prayer and an improved relationship with those around us.

Choosing to rely on God's power

Now this is all fine and dandy you may say, but why is it that I find it so unnatural to do?  Yes, what Peter is encouraging us to do is indeed very unnatural.  It runs against everything that our society has taught us and runs counter to the cycle that we are so accustomed to.  It is so unnatural, in fact, that is is almost supernatural.  Yes, I did say super-natural.  Christians are capable of the supernatural.  Now before you throw me off this pulpit thinking I am some sort of freak, listen to why I say this:  We are capable of doing the supernatural - that is blessing those who insult us, because we have the supernatural indwelt in us.  We have the Holy Spirit.

Why is it difficult for us to bless?  It is difficult because though the Spirit dwells within us, we often ignore him or we do not surrender our control over to him to the degree where God can take over our lives.  Perhaps our relationship with God isn't entirely where it should be and so we may try to bless, but out of our own strength and in turn do so in vain.  We must believe that God's way is going to make a difference.  When we believe, it helps us to surrender our life, and our relationships to God relying on His power to help us break the cycle of insult for insult.

My point is this:  When the Holy Spirit is given full reign of our full lives, God begins to transform us; God transforms us to be more like Him.  When we become more like Him, the supernatural will seem more and more natural.  In fact, it should come to no surprise once we are transformed it is natural to bless, and (as he says in verse 8) to live in harmony, to show sympathy, to love as brothers, to be compassionate and to be humble.  It is the natural code of conduct for a citizen in heaven!  These are the virtues of a hope filled life.

So how do we bless?  We bless by living out many of the virtues outlined for us by Peter in the preceding verses.  We have to remember that Peter in verses 8-12 is actually summarizing what he has said thus far in his letter.  As you may recall, the last time I spoke to you, we were at the beginning of Peter's letter to God's elect.  I talked about being a stranger in the world and how the rules change when we become new citizens of heaven.  I gave new definitions for familiar words and painted a word picture of what it means to be secure in our heavenly citizenship.  We learned that our security is Christian hope - a living hope - that can be found in our guaranteed inheritance and new birth through Christ.

Since then, we have progressed in our study.  We have learned more of what it means to be living with hope.  We have been encouraged by Peter to rejoice despite our circumstance.  We have also been challenged by Peter to live holy lives set apart in purity, set apart in fear, set apart in reverence, set apart in love, and set apart in growth.

Over the last few weeks, Pastor Jerry, Pierre and Rich have been speaking to us about being set apart in our exemplary obedience and submission.  Peter sums it up very well in verse 2:12 where he says that we ought to "live such good lives among the pagans that though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us." 

So Peter sums up what he said thus far by telling us in verse 8 to live in harmony, to be sympathetic, to love as brothers, to be compassionate and to be humble.  Allow me to quickly unpack some of these for you:

Living in harmony

The first virtue is "living in harmony".  In music, harmony is achieved when notes, of varying pitch are played together to produce a single complimentary and unified sound.  Similarly, as God's elect, we are to live in harmony with one another.  We are to be of one mind.  We are to be agreeable, and appreciate the differences that make us unique as God's people.  It is more than just simple teamwork.  When it gets difficult, say with your spouse or in your work relationships, we must choose to allow the Holy Spirit to work through us and others instead of focusing on our rights and whether our note will ring true.  It is through this harmony that we are actually fulfilling God's purpose.  God chooses to work through us to produce a sound more harmonious than any human endeavor ever could.

Be sympathetic

The second virtue is that God's elect are sympathetic.  Just like Christ was sympathetic to the needs, hurts and trials of those around him, Peter encourages us to be kindhearted and sympathetic to those around us.  We are to respect the pain that others may be facing even though we may not always understand the pain.  Sometimes expressions of that pain may come in the form of washed up insults -- directed anger toward you but not because of you.  We can choose to react or we can choose to be sympathetic.

Love as brothers

The third virtue is that our love for one another should also be evident as strangers in the world. God's people love with acceptance and permanence.  God's people love one another because he or she is a brother or sister in Christ.  There's an old saying that goes something like this: "You can choose your friends but not your family." 

Similarly, in God's family, we don't get to "disown" or choose whom our siblings in Christ are - we are to love one another as family even when they may not be the nicest person in the world or when we do not know them.

Quite a number of years ago, Karen and I took a trip down to Los Angeles to visit some relatives.  Because the trip encompassed a Sunday, we found a nearby church to attend worship.  As we approached the church, we were greeted by a little old lady who was serving as usher.  When asked where we had come from, we said that we were from Vancouver, Canada and that we just wanted to find a place to worship.  She asked us whether we attend a church here in Vancouver.  When we replied that we did, she enthusiastically threw her arms around us and with a big hug exclaimed, "well then you are brother and sister in Christ!  Welcome!"

I still remember this story to this day because it so aptly illustrated the love that we ought to demonstrate to fellow believers in Christ regardless of whether we know them well personally.  This usher knew that she was welcoming family into God's house that day and loved us as such.

Be compassionate and humble

The fourth virtue that Peter mentions is that we are to be compassionate and humble.  In other words, if we are to live such good lives among the pagans that they will glorify God, we need to demonstrate the same compassion and humility that Christ demonstrated.  God's people show consideration and genuine care for others acting with their interests over ours.

I never told you the ending of my keyed Integra.  Although I never did find out who perpetrated this crime, God, in granting me the grace to be compassionate, was able to work through me in leading others to do the same.  That night, there was more than just my car that was vandalized.  Not only was there a board meeting, there was also a rehearsal for a play.  There were quite a number of cars at church that night and through what God did in my life I was able to encourage others to begin praying for those who did us wrong instead of getting angry at them.  Who knows what God was able to do through our intercession for those that had hurt us?

Conclusion

In closing, I want to give you a picture analogy of what Peter is saying.  A few months ago, I was on my way out of the office to meet Pastor Rodney for lunch.  It had been a while since Rodney and I have had the chance to meet up for lunch, and I did not want to be late.  So, I took my portfolio, gave a nod to my coworkers and told them I was going out for lunch.

Now things had been a little hectic at work.  Around that time, morale was at an all time low, and people were beginning to wonder whether they ought to be looking for other jobs.  As I strode out the door, my colleague, seeing that I was not taking lunch at my usual time, jokingly said, "Got your resume all ready there for your interview?" as he pointed at my portfolio.  Well in actual fact I had my portfolio because I was meeting Rodney to discuss some worship songs, so I decided I would wittingly answer back - "no, actually I'm going to see my pastor."

That definitely wasn't the answer my coworker was expecting!  "Well then", he said, "in that case, your character and virtue are your resume."

I did not realize how profound his words were until I was preparing this message today.  When we choose to bless for insult, and when we choose to demonstrate the virtues God has given to his elect, we are showing the world that our life resume (our character and virtue) is true.  People know that Christians are supposed to act differently from the world.  They will look upon the fact that you are a Christian and expect you to live differently.  How different is up to you.  So I have only one question to ask you:  How will you live differently today so that others may glorify God when they encounter you?

Let's pray.